"Predators" or "How 80's action returned"

I love 1987's "Predator". I mean love it. I have since I can remember. Even "Predator 2" was awesome. In my view that is. Since 2004's "Alien vs. Predator" both franchises have taken a tail dive into pure exploitation (AvP:R) and lost all the cinematic glory that they once had. "Predators" restores all the menace and fear the interplanetary hunter once carried, while also bringing something new to the table. So from here on in....Spoilers

The film starts off badly. And I mean really badly. Our main hero "Royce" is freefalling, for no explained or apparent reason. He freaks out and finds he can't open a parachute he's wearing before a light goes on and the chute automatically opens. Landing in some trees, the chute rips apart and Royce falls to the jungle floor. Cue title card. Literally the opening on this almost made me laugh just due to the sudden cut to the title card which then cuts back to basically where we were before like nothing happened. Anyway soon Danny Trejo falls from the sky and threatens Royce when suddenly Gatling gun fire appears. Royce flanks our Russian character and the trio are greeted to our token female character, Isabelle. Eventually a group forms with more of the cast running into each other with an African RUF fighter and our death row inmate (Stans) found fighting each other. Also our Yakuza character (Hanzo) is stalking the group. Edwin (Topher Grace) completes the cast and plays the totally normal guy who has no idea why he's there. The group does alot of searching and walking before realising something is very wrong. They do alot of walking and Edwin saves our Russian friend from a deadly flower and earns his protection in return.

Eventually they reach a cliff and see a group of planets in the atmosphere that really shouldn't be there. Now concluding that they are screwed they are attacked by a sorta dog like creature with tusks. We finally get some shooting happening before a whistle blows and the attack dogs are called back. The group looks around to find that Danny Trejo has disappeared but are able to hear his cries for help. They find him sitting in a field injured with his back facing them. Royce realises it's a trap and the group departs before it is revealed that a predator is mimicking the cries for help. Royce decides to follow the alien attack dog trails which lead the group to a encampment where one of the alien hunters is tied up. Turns out this is a trap and our African member is killed. The Russian looses his mini-gun due to a plasma caster exploding it. The group flee and fall down a hill and into a lake (much like we've seen before). Our Token Female has a go at Royce for leading them into a trap and he turns it back on her asserting that she knows what's hunting them. She recounts the story of Dutch's team from 'Predator' and the group decide to trap the hunters themselves. Here we get some character development and very funny lines but they notice that something is out there avoiding the trap they've set. Edwin is sent out as bait and is chased by another alien creature when Laurence Fishburn's Noland shows up to save the day.

Noland leads the group to his hideout which is in some sort of crashed ship. The group rests and it becomes clear that Noland is insane with him talking to voices in his head. Noland sheds some light on the situation stating that they come every season and hunt in threes and that also there is a blood feud between the smaller hunters and the larger ones. He also lets on that there is a ship near the predator encampment and that he has been watching them all along. That night Noland turns on the group and tries to kill them using smoke but Royce shoots something which causes part of the ship to explode alerting a near by predator. Noland runs off and is killed (or more vapourised) by the predator. The group escapes but Edwin gets lost in the ship's hallways, alerting the group they find him trapped and leave him there but the Russian goes back for him due to the whole deadly flower thing. The predator hot on their trail catches the Russian by stabbing him through the chest, however there just happens to be an anti-personal mine on his stomach. Things go boom and the group escapes through tunnels to the surface where two other predators are waiting.

Stans jumps one of them and the group runs off. Stans then gets thrown to the group and has his spine ripped out. Yay gore! The Yakuza assassin decides that he will stay behind in a grassy field and attempt to fight with a samurai sword. Here the movie starts the become kick ass with Hanzo fighting off and killing the second predator in a damn sword fight! However Hanzo is also killed and now we are left with three. Edwin is caught in a trap designed to maim, Isabelle wants to carry him along with them but Royce believes it will slow them down way too much. This causes the group to part ways. Royce makes it back to the camp and frees the tied up predator from before hoping that it will help him get off the planet. It does and programs the ship to auto pilot back to Earth. Meanwhile Isabelle and Edwin get trapped in a net and our last "bad" predator drags them back to camp. They are chucked into a hole cave thing and the "good" predator starts up a fight with his alien blood feuding brother. Seeing two predators beat the crap out of each other is worth seeing this film but eventually the good one is decapitated. Aww. The ship starts to take off apparently with Royce onboard but is self-destructed by that last "bad" predator.

While in the hole Edwin attacks Isabelle with his scalpel, poising her with the neurotoxin still on the blade from the deadly flower. Edwin reveals he is a serial killer and feels at home with the monsters on this planet. Royce shows up (not dead obviously) and pulls them out of the hole. Edwin goes back to playing innocent before attempting to sneak up on Royce, however this fails and Edwin ends up with a scalpel through his chin. Royce uses Edwin to set up a trap attaching something like 10 grenades to Edwin's chest and leaving him in the middle of the camp. As the last predator finds Edwin the grenades explode and Royce ignites a ring of gun powder he had placed around the camp, using the fire to mask his heat signature. He starts to smash the hunter with a bone, getting in some well timed strikes. However the creature switches to an audio mode and locates his heartbeat. The tide of the fight changes and Royce is beaten into submission...but Isabelle is starting to regain control of her limbs and uses her sniper rifle to distract the predator by...well shooting him in the chest. The alien hunter now distracted, launches some blades at Isabelle which pisses Royce off. Going nuts he attacks and beats the crap out of the creature eventually decapitating it. Now the fight is over the two survives share an embrace. Come morning, cages are being dropped onto the planet with Royce and Isabelle determined to find a way back home.

And that's it. 20 years in the making and let me say this was not a disappointment, sure it's not as good as "Predator" but it's damn close. The cast could have been better but they work out well. There are some problems but overall it's an atmospheric auctioneer that really captures the feel of the previous two films. Also the music is almost exactly the same as the original which is awesome. I give it 4 out of 5 "Spines ripped out".

so untill next time...

Be seeing you


On a side note that scene in the trailer where 20 lasers are on Royce NEVER HAPPENS.